I had a client who found a helpful howto article called: “25 ways to forget your ex.”
The takeaways from that article as revised, paraphrased and reframed by me are:
- Give yourself time to heal;
- Don’t stalk him or her–especially virtually by monitoring what they are doing;
- Don’t spent time reliving those memories;
- Try to see realty;
- Learn your lesson from the lending (aka those who do not understand the past are condemned to repeat it) “People come in your life to teach you a lesson, and a person who wants to leave will leave no matter what you do to hold them back. You may give a hundred percent of yourself to someone, but never lose yourself completely to them.”
- Don’t find excuses to meet them again;
- Don’t be harsh on yourself;
- If you still have feelings for the person, don’t try to be friends.
- Know what you are capable of. “Let the breakup help you grow, discover your inner self, and explore your potential. You will be surprised to know what you are capable of when you start living life to the fullest.”
- Try to stay positive engaging in a healthy activity.
- Get out to see nature and plan a trip.
- Get rid of things that remind you or him or her while retaining items of importance if you have children.
- Cut lines of communication if the relationship was toxic and consider use a parenting app in such cases. But remember the duty to communicate on items involving the children.
- Avoid asking friends about them.
- Realize that reel life and real life are very difficult. “It is important, especially after a breakup, to keep a realistic perspective and accept that sometimes things just don’t work out, and that’s okay! Because the ending of a bad relationship creates the space for new and better things to grow.”
- Spent times with family and friends. I call this “getting a better group of friends: friends who are supportive, kind and honest.
- Take time out for your hobbies.
- Accept the breakup as part of life;
- Enjoy your own company.
- Forgive yourself.
- Do NOT date until you are ready. “Trying to move on forcefully may result in dating the wrong person again. Love is special, and a rebound should not be mistaken for love. The day you are able to love yourself for the person you are and forgive your ex is the day that you can open up your heart to love again and start dating.”
- Get into counseling. This is an opportunity for personal growth.
- Learn how to recognize the red flags that might have been ignored during the relationship.
- Value and recognize your personal worth.
- Recognize that there are two things that you can control: how you feel and how you react.
One former client had his own list:
- Drink 20 oz water when wake up.
- Make your bed every morning.
- Limit: alcohol;
- Music listen to 3 songs you like . Listen to classical music for 10 minutes
- Walk or run 1 hour
- Rread for 30 minutes.
- Think of 3 things I’m grateful for before bed